Under Missouri law, family law courts are supposed to make child custody decisions that are in the best interests in the child when the parents cannot agree on a custody plan. Another statute defines "best interests of the child" to mean joint custody and requires judges to order shared custody unless one parent presents reasons why that would not be appropriate.

One potential red flag is if one parent has been accused or suspected of domestic violence. But Missouri law does not specifically presume against allowing shared custody for abusive parents, as about two dozen other states do. Critics say the law does not recognize the ability of abusers to appear in calm and in control in court, which usually impresses judges.

Meanwhile, parents who have the victims of abuse may act more emotionally in court. Experts say that people who suffer abuse for long periods of time can develop post-traumatic stress disorder as a result. Having PTSD can affect their ability to appear calm and emotionally stable in court. Ironically, this means that abusive parents can manipulate the system by appearing to be the more able parent.

State law does require family court judges to consider any history of domestic violence when assigning custody. If the judge decides to award custody to a parent with a history of abuse, he or she must explain their reasoning in writing.

Of course, things are not always black and white as far as which parent is abusive. According to one family law attorney, often there is evidence that both parents have committed domestic violence, which makes custody decisions very difficult for judges.

Source: The Springfield News-Leader, "Many abusers use custody battles as way to seek control," Sarah Okeson, Jan. 14, 2012